It's That Time of Year…again

Sometimes it is hard for me to sit down and write a blog post. I do enjoy writing, but I am my own harshest critic (such a Virgo trait). I often say that I need to feel inspired to get the ball rolling - to get the ideas and the theme to match up can be a challenge.

Here we are in the midst of my favorite month, my birthday month on the precipice of the fall season – the best time of year. Year after year growing up, the month of September was an exciting, reflective, and sometimes challenging month. A new semester of school would start bringing with it all of the excitement and anxiety of any new adventure. One particular new semester saw me leave the known environs of New Jersey for the educational opportunity of a lifetime in Boston, Massachusetts. This 17 year-old fresh-faced freshman had longed to leave the doldrums of the suburbs and become entrenched in a city steeped in history.

So I began my pursuit of a college education at Boston University (BU) in the fall of 1987. I instantly fell in love with my new home and became immersed in its history, world-famous attractions and that Puritanical sensibility. It was a beautiful place to live and my love affair with New England started right then and there. If you have ever had a lobster roll, seen a baseball game at Fenway Park, slurped fresh oysters or strolled the quaint streets in Provincetown – then you know what I am talking about here. I spent 18 years of my life in Boston and I essentially “grew up” there to become the person I am today.

P.S., I’ll save this romance story of New England for another blog post.

I’ve learned on this journey we call life, that people often come into our lives for a variety of reasons. Perhaps that reason is to give us a purpose, teach us a life lesson or just provide a really good time. BU attracted a number of students from all over the world bringing with them a myriad of international backgrounds offering a global perspective. During my freshman year I was lucky to make friends that hailed all the way from Japan to Long Island. Over the years I’ve come to understand that it’s what we take away from those interactions that has something to teach us about ourselves and the world around us. I ponder, how lucky we are to cross paths with people that unknowingly and intrinsically change our perceptions, help our minds grow, present us with new possibilities, and enrich us in ways we may never truly understand or grasp. That’s the beauty of meeting new people and developing friendships.

And what a journey my life has become!

Rising Star

During that first year at BU, I met Heather Malia Ho, who hailed from Honolulu, Hawaii. She certainly had a presence and style all her own coupled with a big personality. Heather was fun-loving, excited about life and thrilled to see her first snowfall in Boston since she had never experienced it ever. One night she invited me for dinner at her off-campus apartment – a real treat since dorm food is – well, you know. I’ll never forget she made the most delicious appetizer – a mushroom crostini. She sautéed a mushroom mélange with aromatic spices, added cream and cooked the mushroom sauce until it was nappante. The sauce was then spooned on thinly sliced toasted baguette that were scented with garlic – a perfect one bite – absolutely sublime. I’ve made mushroom crostini hundreds of times and credit Heather for teaching me to make it. It is one dish that people will remind me that they still crave.

During college, Heather jumped from major to major and finally settled into hotel & food management and after college she attended the prestigious Culinary Institute of America. She moved on to become a rising star pastry chef in San Francisco and New York City. Unfortunately, as life moves us forward, time and distance grew farther and longer apart so we fell out of touch.

Heather’s influence on me was two-fold. First, having heard so many wonderful things about Hawaii, I knew one day I would visit and I ultimately traveled there a number of times with trips to Oahu, Maui, and the Big Island. Second, was her passion for food – desserts in particular. While I am not a pastry chef, I can certainly appreciate cooking from the sweet side of the brain. I studied classic culinary cuisine at The French Culinary Institute (FCI) and savory is my game. When I was deciding to attend FCI at the age of 38 I thought about Heather. I felt encouraged by her hard work and fortitude. From that point, deciding to go to FCI was etched in my life’s journey. I am forever grateful for that inspiration.

Latin from Manhattan

Remembering those first days, weeks and months at BU my brain buzzed with new ideas, new people, a new city to explore and the stress of course work on top of those interactions. Meeting Adriana Legro was an integral part of those new college experiences. Adriana, known as AD to those that were close to her, was focused, determined, and guarded. AD was a New Yorker, through and through. Tough, no nonsense, direct, and sometimes very reserved. She was complex, her family was tight and when I learned that she lost her mother at an early age – it hurt on a level that was unfathomable. Knowing this, I could understand why she was guarded, and there were times I could sense that pain she held inside. It took awhile for us to become close friends, and I appreciated that slow maturing of our friendship. It felt purposeful and honest.

It was an easy decision to make Boston my home – there was no going back to New Jersey. During college, AD actually helped me secure a job at a stunning new café in a venerated haberdashery known as Louis, Boston. She took me under her wing and taught me so much about customer service, food safety, and hard work. It was a great opportunity for me. I needed to prove that I could support myself and AD had encouraged me along the way.

That was a magical summer in many ways, each day I would return to work at the café to set up for that day’s business. AD and I would banter, laugh and get the work done. The Chef and front of house manager (Helen and Michel) became my mentors, friends and surrogate parents in many ways. I could always count on this new little family to feel welcomed, nurtured and loved. It was a time in my life that was celebrated with food and I learned so much from these individuals. AD always had my back and she was fiercely loyal and protective. AD introduced me to her own family back in NY, her sister Maria and loving Grandmother embraced me so warmly.

Me and AD in my South End apartment in Boston.

Post college, AD was driven to succeed, she moved back to NYC and worked her way up the corporate ladder. She rose higher and higher in her career and I’d always take the opportunity to see her when I visited NYC. I was so impressed with her amazing success and knew it all came down to determination, hard work, and gumption. AD was a sounding board and had an innate sensibility to see beyond the proverbial bullshit. As I mentioned, she was the essence of a true New Yorker and after living there for over a decade, I understand where that comes from and I cherish that knowledge and experience.

In Memoriam

As we move past the 20th Anniversary of 9/11 the reminder of those tragic events will always resonate with me. Many of us recall that awful day, where we were, what we were doing, who we were with – it is a day etched in our memories. The two amazing women I just told you about both perished in the collapse of the North Tower that day.

Heather was a pastry chef at Windows on the World in the World Trade Center. She had actually gave her notice in August of 2001 but being the admirable professional she had agreed to stay on until her position was filled. And on that fateful day she was taken from this world.

AD rose to a level in her career where she held a seat on a commodities trading desk working for Carr Futures on the 92nd floor of 1WTC. AD was scheduled to be out of the office that day and decided to go into work instead. After the plane struck the building, AD called her family and pleaded for them to call 911.

In October of 2001, AD’s family held her memorial. I spoke at the memorial, it was one of the hardest moments in my life but I wanted those who loved her to know how she was etched into my brain and the difference she made in my world. It was a somber, gut-wrenching event at a beautiful old church in the city. Her photo propped on an easel, that sparkling smile and glint in her eyes were a reminder of the incredible person, friend, sister, aunt, daughter, and co-worker that was simply – Adriana.

Twenty years later, I still think of those friends, the Rising Star and my Latin from Manhattan and wonder what they would think of how I’ve crafted my life. I yearn for their advice, I wonder how they would have helped guide me during some difficult times or choices I’ve had to make about careers and relationships.

I don’t want to end this post with feelings of sadness or loss. I think it is important to keep those who have passed – present – in our memories and to celebrate who they were during their lives and how they impacted us. If you take anything anyway from these musings it is to appreciate the family you were born into and further be grateful for the family you create. Those new connections have meaning and help us along this winding journey of life. I am so lucky to have people in my life, yesterday and today, that make the simplest moments…the most unforgettable.

A Late Summer Night’s (and Day) Dream

Summertime at the lake is dreamy to say the least. The weather can turn from bright and sunny to dark and stormy without any warning. The lake itself is also an ever-changing vignette with the play of light, waves, and wildlife all making a distinct mark on its beauty and allure. With August firmly supplanted as ‘late summer’ here in mid-Michigan, the month of July is now a treasure trove of memories tucked away. With family visiting, impromptu Tuesday night dinner parties with our neighbors, day trips, and my attempt of learning to water ski and wake surf has all made the entire month a non-stop fun and exciting couple of weeks.

On day trips with friends, we explored the quiet countryside of Clare County. There is a large population of Amish people that make their home here. The Amish general store is chock full of everything and anything you can imagine. Need a new handle for that axe?, a mini cast iron skillet?, muck boots?, handcrafted farm sets for your kids?, jingle bells for your horse?, yep, you can find it here. I can spend a good hour looking at everything for sale and I always find something I could use or need for the new house.

Most recently, a jaunt to the alpaca farm was a favorite outing – Living the Good Life Alpaca Acres is a home to more than 30 alpacas and other assorted farm animals. Their gift shop is filled with items created from the alpaca wool they shear such as hats, mittens, scarves, wraps, dryer balls, and the warmest, softest socks I’ve ever purchased. The proprietors have eight female alpacas ready to give birth too. And a fun fact, (maybe not for the alpaca) is that the gestation period is 11.5 months! Also, alpacas are always born in the morning. It was a fascinating excursion and what was even more astonishing – they also poop in a giant litter box!

From alpacas to pottery, on another spree, we discovered Earthshine Pottery – an artist’s gallery of handmade pottery that just opened this summer. The owners, Susan and Bob, were so gracious and lovely and their work is top-notch, organic and simply dazzling. I absolutely love pottery, the way it feels in your hand, how specific glazes sparkle or stay muted and moody, the natural designs shaped by hand – and the longevity of the art form bowls me over – (no pun intended). I purchased two pieces that I am gaga over, and I am excited to go back to see what is new on the shelves of the gallery.

As summer slowly edges along toward fall, at the end of the day, Marc and I sit out on the screened porch and have that quiet time to talk about our day, the upcoming weekend’s plan. We enjoy our dinners along with the sounds of nature with chirping crickets, croaking frogs, and that wild and mysterious call of the loons. This summer we are fortunate to welcome a baby loon on the lake and are thrilled to watch its growth. At bedtime, my brain recycles the day, my eyes close, and I wade into a dreamy sleep nestled into our home in the woods.

Reflections on the Lake

The July 4th holiday was a whirlwind of family, fun, food, some frivolity and most importantly, we planned a very special day to celebrate the life of Beth Ann Eesley. Marc’s sister passed in November of last year in Chicago and during COVID-19 we had no way or opportunity to grieve properly with our loved ones.

On Saturday, July 3rd, our family and friends gathered together to remember, to mourn, to celebrate life, to be together, and to give us all the opportunity to reflect on the loss of someone we loved so dearly. The day itself was picture perfect, the blue sky and white wispy clouds filtered the bright sunshine and gentle breezes swirled around us. Even the butterflies flitted all about and danced in the air.

As family and friends arrived at the lake, the weight and gravity of the event had slowly lifted and sadness melted into a warm embrace. Marc welcomed everyone and spoke from the heart about losing his only sibling – the tears flowed. Marc’s Mom also spoke about the loss of her only daughter and adjacent was a beautiful collage of photos highlighting Beth throughout her life.

Dear friends and close cousins stood and spoke about Beth and her one-of-a-kind style and bravado. A longtime family friend read a poem called The Dash by Linda Ellis. The ‘dash’ represents the time between someone’s birth and their passing. Everything we do during the time of our dash is what matters, what people will remember, what will remain in our hearts. It was a poignant and beautiful remembrance and the feeling of loss – albeit strong and painful – it was the coming together of family that softened the hurt.

Later that day, family stayed on and mused around the fire pit, the little kids had fun fishing from the dock, we glided around Windover Lake on the pontoon and just held on to every moment that made the day so special and cathartic.

The cottage and our new home were filled to the brim with guests over the holiday and we wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Having just moved in on June 14th, we kicked into high gear with entertaining, cooking, happy hours, card games, ATV rides, walks in the woods, … you name it – we did it! And, we are happy to report that the house we built served everyone quite well. Our dream of building a comfortable home where our family and friends are always welcomed has come true.

The other night, the lake looked like a mirror, everything reflected so beautifully. I’ve always said one of the great parts of living here is the lake – it looks different every day and each day I awake and anticipate what it wants to show me – it’s a gift that keeps on giving.